


Bleeding Love: Stupid Questions

by writenow753



Series: Bleeding Love Saga [1]
Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Childhood Friends, Friendship/Love, Heartbreak, It's not okay, Jaebum-Centric, Love Triangles, M/M, Romance, Roommates, Third Wheels, Unrequited Love, and maybe it never will be, angst is the name of the game, bleeding love saga, it really sucks being in love, it's not right, jinyoung and jaebum are best friends, only fools fall in love, protective!jaebum
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-20
Updated: 2016-09-20
Packaged: 2018-08-16 05:12:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8088601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writenow753/pseuds/writenow753
Summary: The question that’s been asked (jokingly, always) over the years, that he thinks is stupidest of all — the one he hates with a burning passion of a thousand suns — is do you like Jinyoung?





	1. Ch1

It’s commonly said, there’s no such thing as a stupid question.  
Just stupid answers.

Jaebum, however, disagrees.

“Is it still raining outside?” asked after seeing someone come in with an umbrella, dripping wet, with shoes making those annoying squeaking sounds across the tiled floor.

“Is the ramyun too hot to eat?” asked after seeing a billow of steam coming from the bowl.

It doesn’t require Sherlock level skills (or even Nancy Drew) to figure these things out.

—

Jaebum has known Jinyoung since they were in second grade.

Jinyoung had just moved to the big city from a small countryside town. It’d been recess time and four days into the new school year when Jaebum saw two bigger boys (bullies, he knew from seeing them last year) corner the younger boy. They’d taken him behind the school building, far from where any teachers or recess monitors stood watch.

By the time he got there, Jinyoung had already started to cry, his knee badly skinned and bleeding from where one of the boys had pushed him to the graveled ground. Even though his mom taught him violence was never the answer and it was bad, he didn’t really care at that moment. He punched both boys in the face, and without looking back, he took Jinyoung’s hand in his and led him to the school nurse’s office.

Jinyoung had shyly smiled at him then and whispered _thank you_.

The next day at lunch he took the empty seat by Jinyoung (there were several because no one wanted to sit next to the new kid) and opened his Superman lunch box, taking out what his mom had packed him for the day.

“Want to be my best friend?” Jaebum asked as he handed the quiet boy his most favorite thing in the world; a chocolate chip cookie.

He nodded his head yes and took the offered sweet. “My name’s Jinyoung Park. What’s yours?”

They’re roommates in college now, sharing an apartment off campus. He’s studying film and television with a minor in dance, while Jinyoung studies music with a minor in music therapy.

The question that’s been asked (jokingly, always) over the years, that he thinks is stupidest of all — the one he hates with a burning passion of a thousand suns — is do you like Jinyoung?

No, he doesn’t. He loves him. He’s in love with his roommate, his best friend of thirteen years, and Jinyoung doesn’t even know it because he’s dating someone else.

—

He sees Jinyoung and Mark (the boyfriend) on the sofa, giving each other Eskimo kisses.

Seriously _Eskimo kisses_. Who the hell does that?

“Go get a room, or better yet an igloo!” he tells them and Jinyoung just responds by sticking out his tongue and throwing a pillow at him.

—

Even though it’s already partially open, he still has his hand raised to knock on Jinyoung’s door when he hears his friend’s voice. By the one-sided conversation he overhears, he brilliantly deduces it’s Mark that Jinyoung’s talking to on the phone. Mark, the guy who left not even a full hour ago, and he barely — just barely — manages to keep from rolling his eyes at the asinine conversation.

“I miss you hyung.”  
“Uh uh, I miss _you_ more.”

“You’re cuter! You totally are, don’t even try and argue with me Mark Tuan!”  
“Wait are you pouting because I called you cute? Take a picture hyung!”  
“Why? Because your pouting face is adorable.”

“I love you too.”  
“I love you times infinity.”

At that, his heart twists painfully in his chest and it hurts, it really fucking _hurts_ , but his feet betray him and he remains frozen to the spot like a deer caught in headlights on a darkened road.

And later, “You hang up first.”  
“No,” a laugh, “I don’t want to. I told you to do it.”  
“No, you!” Another laugh. “Okay what about we both hang up on the count of three—”

What are they, twelve-year-old girls? It’s embarrassing as hell, that’s what it is.

His brain and feet finally decide to operate on the same wavelength, and he walks back to the living room to retrieve the movie he left on the coffee table. He’ll take it back to his room and watch it alone.

It’s not like Jinyoung could watch the film anyway, it’s too mature for him.

It’s rated PG13.


	2. Ch2

It’s five months since they started dating, when Mark and Jinyoung try to set him up on a blind date.

He’s offended, insulted and indignant all rolled into one very annoyed Jaebum-shaped package.

“I can get my own dates thankyouverymuch.”

Mark and Jinyoung share a look, and it only serves to piss him off further.

“He’s a really nice guy, Jaebum. He’s a year younger than you, but I think you’ll have a lot in common because he’s a dance major. He’s really good too, he’s already won several competitions.”

“I met him hyung. He’s super hot and really sweet, he makes friends with everyone he meets,” Jinyoung says, trying to build up the mystery man’s qualities.

It doesn’t matter what they say though, because he wants no part of it.

“If he’s so great, why don’t one of you date him?”

“I would,” Jinyoung replies with a quick grin, which earns him a not-so-playful shove by Mark, so he continues, “but as you can see,” and slings an arm around his pouting boyfriend, “I’m kind of attached.”

Yeah, it’s not something he can forget.

“Jinyoung, I’m not interested.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m not, and that’s all you need to know.”

“Fine, then.” Jinyoung’s earlier smile fades into a frown, because he really doesn’t get why Jaebum is being such a stubborn ass. “I just didn’t want you to feel like a third wheel. Wouldn’t it be nice to double date?”

Third wheel? Maybe it’s true he feels that way at times (ie most of the time) but he’s worked hard to never let it show. At least, he thinks he did.

Now that Jinyoung’s made the comment, he has to wonder do they _feel_ that way about him? Do they hate him coming along to their movie outings, to bowl, to eat? He’s a big boy, they didn’t have to invite him. It’s not like he would cry if he got left home alone. Do they feel like he’s some pathetic loser, or worse, feel sorry for him? Those particular thoughts push him over the edge, so when he speaks again he lets his anger bleed through his tone.

“If you didn’t want me along, grow up and just fucking say it. Don’t start trying to set me up with someone to get rid of me.”

“Hyung, that’s not—” Jinyoung gets up to try and stop Jaebum from leaving, but it’s too late, he’s already halfway to his room.

Thirty minutes pass before he hears their front door open and close, and then a few minutes later, a soft knock outside his door.

“Are you awake? Can we talk hyung?”

He ignores it and ignores the slight twinge of guilt he feels for snapping at Jinyoung earlier. He rather hold onto the mad for a little while longer though, so when Jinyoung knocks again, he pretends to be asleep.

For the next week and a half, every time Jinyoung and Mark invite him somewhere, he says _no thank you_ politely and creates an excuse why he can’t go. The first couple of times, they protest (Jinyoung’s face falling each time), trying to get him to change his mind and telling him that they really want him to come, but he’s stuck on being stubborn. After that, they ask once, he turns them down, and they leave.

He knows this is what he needs to get use to, that this is the new normal.

But then something strange happens. Over the next two weeks, he barely sees Mark (only once actually) and Jinyoung never once leaves their apartment except to attend classes. Instead Jinyoung chooses to stay in with him.

They study together, they play video games, Jinyoung tries again (and without much success) to teach him how to bake. One weekend they don’t even bother showering and opt to stay in comfy gym clothes, marathoning and watching all eight movies of _Harry Potter_.

He’s pretty sure Jinyoung would have gladly given up the full music scholarship he received to NYU, if that meant attending the famed (but fictional) Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He thinks it’s cute how much Jinyoung seems to be fascinated by the series and can even repeat parts of the movie dialogue word-for-word. (Not that Jaebum’s busy watching Jinyoung instead of the TV in front of him or anything.)

It’s quite honestly probably the best two weeks of his life, if he can just ignore one tiny _tiny_ thing: Jinyoung already has a boyfriend and it’s not him.

He’s heading toward Jinyoung’s room to see if he wants to order Mexican takeout for dinner when he hears the last few seconds of his phone call.

“Are you mad at me?” Silence and then, “Okay, yeah… no, I get it… bye.”

He returns to the living room and waits on the couch, setting the TV to mute, as he flips through the channels. He chooses a cooking show because he knows Jinyoung likes them, but keeps the volume lowered.

“Mark?” he asks, when Jinyoung enters the room a few minutes later. He kind of hates himself for asking.

“Huh? Oh, yeah.” He nods, looking every bit upset but trying to hide it.

“What’s wrong?”

He’s screaming at himself to stop asking questions, that if only he shut up, he could maybe, _just maybe_ , have Jinyoung to himself. But he can’t because this is Jinyoung and Jinyoung is hurting (he can clearly see it, he’s not blind) and fuck it, he’s really going to do the whole supportive best friend thing, right? Even if it means crushing his heart more?

He takes another, longer look at Jinyoung, and yeah, yeah he’s totally going to.

He’s an idiot.  
Hammer, nail: meet heart.

Jinyoung finally answers. “He asked me to go to some party and I said no.” He shrugs, like he doesn’t really care. And he doesn’t care about the party, he cares about Mark being upset with him.

“Why aren’t you going? Why have you been staying home so much?” He asks the question he’s intentionally ignored for two weeks.

“I didn’t want to go.”

“Jinyoung, don’t give me that,” Jaebum says, unwilling to accept the weak excuse. He knows there’s more to it than Jinyoung’s revealing.

“Will you go?” Jinyoung counters, surprising him with the reversal.

“I wasn’t invited.”

“If I invited you, would you go?”

He thinks back to the third wheel comment. “No, I wouldn’t.”

“Exactly,” Jinyoung says and crosses his arms in front of his chest, as if that explains everything perfectly.

And it kind of does.

“Wait, what? Are you seriously telling me you aren’t going to the party, that you’ve practically become a hermit these last couple of weeks, all because I said no to coming with you guys?”

“Maybe.” With a stern look from Jaebum to tell the truth, he amends his answer. “Yes, yes. Are you happy now?”

And it’s odd because he is, if he is truthful, that’s his first immediate gut reaction. But he also feels like the lowest of the low and the world’s shittiest friend at the exact same time. Give him a gold star.

“What was I supposed to do, huh?” Jinyoung questions, coming to take a seat on the sofa. “You kept refusing to come out. Yes Mark’s my boyfriend, and I love him. I know he’s upset, but I can’t seem to make things better lately… and even though I feel like if this keeps up between us, I’m going to end up losing him… it hurts… but hyung, you’re my best friend,” Jinyoung says, his words spilling forth into a jumbled mess. “I couldn’t keep going out, knowing you were here by yourself and you weren’t happy with me either. It didn’t feel right.”

“It will be okay,” Jaebum promises. And because it’s true and he’s not sure what else to say, he adds, “You’ll always be my best friend too.”

They’re sitting side-by-side now on the sofa they rescued from the roadside two years ago. Jinyoung’s head is resting on Jaebum’s shoulder, and every now and then, noises filter in from the hallway, people overexcited for some reason or another, while the TV in front of them remains muted.

It’s quiet, peaceful, and bittersweet.

“I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings, trying to set you up on that blind date,” Jinyoung murmurs softly sometime later. “I just wanted you to find someone so you could be as happy as I am. I never once thought of you as a third wheel, I just didn’t want you to feel that way. You know I love you, right?”

“I know.” And he does know, and because of that, he knows what he needs to do next.

They don’t end up going to the party that night, but two days later, he calls Mark over and as soon as the older boy arrives, he starts to usher him out while pulling Jinyoung along with him.

Jinyoung’s a little taken aback at seeing Mark, but instead of asking why he’s there, he chooses to look at Jaebum. “Where are we going?”

“I just got here, and you’re kicking me out? You invited me,” Mark says, almost at the same time. He’s uncertain why he got called over in the first place and he’s feeling awkward since he and Jinyoung hadn’t been getting along lately.

“I’m not kicking you out, we’re all going to eat,” he says, placing extra emphasis on the ‘all’. “My treat!”


	3. Ch3

He thinks he’s gotten pretty cool at acting cool. (Maybe he should have minored in theater.) Jinyoung never once suspects, and Mark thinks they’re total bffs. He feels a little bad about that, because under other circumstances, he could see that being true.

—

It’s been a year, seven months, two weeks, and four days since Jinyoung and Mark started dating. Not that he’s counting or anything.

He walks into the apartment and sees that Jinyoung has been crying, and the urge to hit whoever caused it is as strong as it had been back in second grade. But he wills it down instead because Mark is there and there’s a huge grin on his face. A couple mutual friends are there too (next door neighbors) and he hears _congratulations_ and there’s champagne in those, what are they called again? — oh, yes, flutes. He had bought them a long time ago for some party but they rarely got used.

“What are we celebrating?” There’s a hesitance in his voice and a sick feeling of nausea and dread and _oh.god.this.is.not.happening_ that settles deep in the pit of his stomach, all of which cause the contents of his late night dinner to want to make an unwelcome reappearance.

The very moment Jinyoung sees him, Jinyoung’s whole face lights up, and he’s pretty sure the younger man would have run and jumped into his arms and given him a huge hug if his arms hadn’t already been loaded down with books.

So instead, Jinyoung yells, “Jaebum, Jaebummie hyuuuung, my lovely Bummmmmiiiieee,” while taking the books from him and setting them on the nearest available surface, which means he totally ends up dropping them on the floor.

Before he can even wince because college textbooks are expensive as hell, Jinyoung’s got his face in his hands, squishing his cheeks together, making it almost impossible for him to say anything. He tries to anyway, and Jinyoung leans forward and places a quick peck to his lips, effectively silencing him.

“I love you!”

He’s a little drunk, Jaebum sees it now in the flushed cheeks and slightly glassy eyes.

No matter how many times Jinyoung says those words to him (sober and completely trashed alike), Jaebum can’t keep his heart from nearly stopping at hearing them. Jinyoung loves him, but Jinyoung’s not in love with him. There’s a whole universe of difference that lives between the three extra words of ‘not,’ ‘in,’ and ‘with’. It’s something Jaebum knows intimately well.

Mark comes up to him, offering a flute of champagne and Jaebum takes it without thinking, staring at the pale amber liquid like it holds all the answers to life’s greatest mysteries. His mouth feels dry, and despite his already queasy stomach, he takes a long sip. The bubbles make his nose twitch in reflex, making Jinyoung laugh.

“We’re celebrating.” Mark brings Jinyoung in his arms and hugs him close. “Because I asked Jinyoung to marry me and he said yes.”

Jaebum is not sure whose smile is the brightest or the most idiotic looking (aren’t you supposed to grin like an idiot when you’re in love?) and all he can do is murmur a quiet _congratulations_ (it’s automatic, and expected after all) and smile (when did all the muscles in his face become so heavy?). But inside, inside he feels like crawling into a darkened room and never leaving.

“Jaebum hyung! Hyung.” Jinyoung’s voice catches, and he sounds worried and that’s just… odd.

“What? Hmm.” It’s like he’s already in that darkened room, it’s nice in there. Maybe he really will stay for a while. He stares blankly at Jinyoung.

“Mark, get me a towel and washcloths; anything I don’t care. Jason, find the broom and a plastic garbage bag and clean up the mess. Joshua, in my bathroom, grab a pair of tweezers… I think I left them on the counter, and get the first aid kit and hydrogen peroxide, they should be under the sink.”

Jinyoung gives out orders with military-like precision, never once taking his eyes off of Jaebum, and the others rush to do as he asks.

“Your hand.” He gestures and speaks softly to him like he’s a young child in need of soothing, worrying that his friend is going into shock.

Jaebum looks down and is surprised to find multiple shards of champagne glass embedded in the palm of his hand, alcohol and blood mixing together, and it’s really fucking weird because he feels nothing at all.

“Oh,” he says simply.

Jinyoung takes care of him — any traces of not being completely sober gone at the sight of Jaebum bleeding — and leads him to the couch, where the others had placed the supplies he requested. He disinfects the cuts and picks out all the tiny pieces of glass ever so gently, all the while keeping up a steady stream of mindless chatter, trying to distract Jaebum from what he’s doing to his hand.

“I don’t think you’ll need to go to the emergency room hyung,” Jinyoung says, as he starts to bandage his hand. “You really scared me there for a minute.”

He murmurs something unintelligible but Jinyoung doesn’t seem to notice.

“I’ll check and change your bandage daily to make sure there’s no sign of infection or anything, okay?”

The others are somewhere else, it sounds like the kitchen, since he hears voices in that direction. They left them alone after cleaning up the glass and mess he made. They know how protective Jinyoung gets over his Jaebum and choose to stay out of the way.

Jaebum thinks to himself that he may be Jinyoung’s, really he’s always been Jinyoung’s since that day they met on the playground, but Jinyoung will never be his.

He doesn’t even realize he’s crying, until he feels his friend’s hand brushing tears away with a gentleness that only makes him want to cry harder.

“Does it hurt that bad?”

Another stupid question, life really is full of them.

He’s not crying because of the pain in his hand, he’s yet to feel anything from breaking the glass of champagne. How can he when the feeling of his heart breaking into a million little pieces over and over again is so overwhelming and blinding it makes him numb to everything else?

“Does it hurt?” he repeats softly, looking into Jinyoung’s eyes before looking down at his uninjured hand, the one that Jinyoung’s holding in his. “More than you will ever know.”

FIN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments/feedback/constructive criticism are all much much appreciated.
> 
> This... this when I first started writing it I had no idea it would turn into a multi-fic story (or as I like to call it the Bleeding Love Saga) but this fic is what started it all. I wrote this, this ending and I am happy with it and feel it's very true to life because not everything is perfect and amazing. We don't always get everything we want. 
> 
> Then I thought about the idea of different realities and universes. Would everything end up the same if one thing (big or small) changed? In life we don't get do-overs and we don't get to backtrack to see where different paths will take us. We pick one road and we go forward. But this is fiction and this is writing and that's the fun and beauty of it... to go out and explore all the endless possibilities.


End file.
